Alex: I'm basically his beard...pre-beard...stubble. 

Gloria: Can you please drive straight?
Cam: Oh I'm sorry are my pinkies up? They do that when I get excited. Down girls.

Dylan: Look I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing tshirts now. They're gonna be huge. Also medium and small.

Cam: There are coyotes out here, and meth addicts!

Dylan: Look I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing T-shirts now. They're gonna be huge. Also medium and small.

Manny: We’re both thinking it, so I’m just going to say it. Lily’s dance is not up to the standards of what we just saw. 

Mitchell: I think I'm laying on a rock.
Cam: I'm laying next to mine.

Haley: My guidance counselor suggested I take a gap year. You know, a year between high school and college where you take some courses, have some life experiences, and get inspired. And, obviously, work at the Gap. 

Jay: That’s charcuterie? I’ve been avoiding that on menus for years. They’re killing themselves with that name.

Haley: Tonight at dinner, I’m telling my parents the biggest news of all: I’m moving in with someone.
Dylan: And his name is me.