Haley: Dear College, Cheese makes me gassy, see you in September.
Jay [to Cam]: I can't take another farm story.
Phil: Quick, what's my favorite hospital food? (answers phone) Jellooo.
Phil: Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.
Cam: It's a somber occasion and all of my tops are too joyful.
Cam: Cam and Jay, kind of sounds like a bird.
Haley: Uh I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff, what was the point of all that?
Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school. Phil: I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.
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